Age is Weird- Nine

Well, to go along with a day where I'm hitting my head against a wall, why don't we add that I skipped 9 on my list of bloggy things to do each day in April. 9 was to talk about ageism.

Here we go.

Pictured above is Weird Al Yankovic. Weird Al is 56. Weird Al can also kick over his head, run back and forth on a stage making upwards of 20 costume changes, make jokes, dance, and sing on key all at once. That's good, not just "for 56" but "for" anyone.

My experience is that people of all ages can do great things, and it's important that we all know that. That way, if we're 30 and we feel like we have no idea what the hell is going on with our lives, or we feel stopped along the way somewhere, or whatever, we know that some people's careers and lives are just beginning.

If our nephews, nieces or sons and daughters see a 13 year old start a business or a 16 year old graduate college, they know the sky's the limit for them, and they can aspire to big things now, instead of just wishing to be older.

I've seen the ageism on both sides- people talking about how everyone "millenial" or whatever they want to call the generations below them are lazy, overprotected special snowflakes who can't function when anyone doesn't like them or their Facebook status, and I've also seen a young office turn on their older staff, mock them for their out of date ways, and basically drive them away, though they're perfectly talented and qualified for the job, and might even have some insights and ideas that would blow their minds.

Mozart started composing at age 5
I just read about a kid who summited Kilimanjaro at age 9.
J.R.R. Tolkien published the first of his Lord of the Rings Series at 62.
Einstein got a nobel at 42.

So why can't we just throw the numbers out and start realizing that a lot more than we think is possible. Time to start trying that.

Ten for Nothin'

I think I'm just having a rough day, but I don't think "Name a fruit you dislike" gives me anything to work with today.

That said, I love pomegranates, so the picture is just....cuz I thought it was pretty.

I am not a fan of grapefruit. Too weirdly bitter. It just tastes bitter to me. I could dump three cups of sugar on it, and there's some weird bitter sensation that it leaves me with.

Not a fan.


Speaking of bitter, today has been just that. Bitter.
I really just want to go to bed and let it pass.
There's a lot on my mind but I don't really want to talk about it to anyone.
I'll sum up with an example. There's this game I'm about to be finishing called Demon's Souls. And I keep hitting my head against the same walls in the game. Like, it's the 15th run, I know there's a bad guy around the corner, I know he'll stab me to death if I don't put my shield up, but for the 15th time, I run around the corner and fail.

I know how to put my shield up.
I know he's there.
I know about the stabbing.
And yet.

At least with a game, eventual success is still success. With real life, you could have done a lot of damage that isn't gonna reverse by the 16th time when you get it right.

Throw three cups of sugar on it and I still won't like today.

catchup!!

Ok, I've been bad. Bad me, bad.
Meanwhile, let's talk books, because I'm farthest behind on the book post.

I'm gonna give you a book I loved but instead of just a cliche my favorite, one I really enjoyed that isn't my all time favorite.

It's by Aisha Tyler, and it's called self-inflicted wounds. It's autobiographical in a fun and funny way, telling stories about all the times she messed up things for herself. She does a feature with the same name at the end of her podcast, and it's always been eye-opening to me to hear all these different people tell stories of times that they really screwed things up for themselves, even when they should have known better.

It's nice because it's the great equalizer, and because everyone does screw things up for themselves at one time or another, and it's nice to hear it's universal. She tells it eloquently and hysterically, and it's a great read for a plane or trip or just...fun.

Now here's a book I dislike. It's controversial, you guys. But whatever. Here goes nothing.

I dislike the Great Gatsby. Big yawn.
I feel nothing for the characters, I just...I don't care. The story isn't compelling to me, and I...don't like it. I've read it in both high school and college, and I'm a big fan of a lot of great classics, but I just...can't find anything in my heart for that book. The only reason I blinked an eye for the movie was all the period clothing and Art Deco style, but...I dunno. It all seems surface.

On the wakeup tomorrow, i shall tackle everything that catches me up. Meow.

Day 7: We've Crashed, Captain!

Guhhhh. I missed a day! Interestingly enough, the day I missed was one in which I was out at a happy hour for Chicagoist, so I was hanging with a bunch of writers ignoring my writing duties here.
Also, this prompt doesn't...have anything for me.

It asks what tattoos you have and if they have meaning. I don't have any at all. So...no meaning!

That said, I've thought of one. I've even gotten it sketched by a friend in New Mexico who's a tattoo artist, and I think she did a lovely job incorporating all the elements I wanted in it. I don't have it yet, and though it would mean a lot to me, I don't know that I want to go into the raw detail of it here, so that's what I'll say about that.

Tattoos in general though...growing up I thought it was wrong, I guess? Many people I was surrounded by thought so. Screwing up God's temple and such. But I see tattoos as people revealing who they are on the inside on their outside, and I think the stories behind so many of them are so poignant and beautiful, and it's so bold that they want to wear it on their skin forever.

Personally, I'm interested in the things that we commit to forever. Forever is a long time, and we don't always get to choose what we carry with us. If I've got anything close to a tattoo it's my big scar from moving to NM. And I earned it, and though sometimes it's inflamed and red and angry, I've come to like it. It reminds me of something brave and crazy and unforgettable that I did. I didn't really choose to get stapled in the arm, but now that I have it, I choose to see it as more than just an injury.

One day, maybe I'll get that tattoo, and choose that story to be told everywhere I go, inked on my skin, forever.

Object of My Fascination

Well, hello out there, whomever you all are. Another day in blogland, and another writing challenge to go along with it. I'm having a hard time with the prompts this year, as a lot of them leave me rather stumped.

Today's supposed to be about "someone who fascinates you."

I can think of lots of answers...maybe I'll turn this into a list?

Robin Williams fascinated me.  Where he found all that energy and connectivity and crazy, bubbling over personality that could make the Easter Island heads smile.

Jim Henson fascinated me.  What a world he created. Full of color and love and life. It seems he never let go of the "hippie" ideals some people mock and instead just forged a path creating that world around him.  To me, the reason why the Muppets are what they are is because they represent the real goodness that people can achieve- and the real community they can have.  They show us a world where things aren't always easy or fun, but where we can all still rise above it. It's utopian but not unreachable.

Salvador Dali fascinates me. How did his brain work? How did he see the things he saw, and what did he mean with every brushstroke in every painting. There's so much, and to him, it all meant enough to commit to canvas.

My grandma fascinates me. She's going to be 91. She was born in Chicago in 1925 when there were still flappers and gangsters and bathtubs full of whiskey. She tells stories of when the mob hit up her mom for protection money at their store and she chased them out with a broom. And I could see my grandma chasing some big, hard-ass guy out of any room with a broom too. She has a strange authority, but also a way of wondering at the world even now that I still admire.

So many writers fascinate me. Gaiman, Vonnegut, Bradbury, Yeats, Neruda, Roach, Sedaris, Rowling, Bourdain...it's a weird, wonderful mix of classical, comical, fantastical writers who all have made windows into other worlds for me.

I guess what this impresses on me as I list though, is that I need to be fascinated more. I need to look for more inspiration. I need to keep wondering what  makes everyone tick, not only to understand them better for their sake, but to keep growing for myself as well.

Sometimes You Wanna Go Where Absolutely Nobody Knows Your Name

So, because my schedule has been all over the place with vacation spent being total hedonists...it's 5 am on the 6th and I'm doing my 5th. For me it's on schedule though. What this also means is I read one person's response to this already, and gained some insight into them. It made me think a bit more about how I'd respond.

The question du jour is about a place you would live, but have never visited. I can't say Seattle, because though it was a short visit, I've been there before, for a day.  With Seattle, I can say it didn't take me long to arrive at being happy there.

I feel like I've almost moved somewhere I never visited before, like Minnesota, and perhaps Los Alamos, which I didn't visit before I moved there, although with that, I did visit New Mexico first. Not sure if that counts?

So I started thinking general too...would I live somewhere I didn't really know anything about, or hadn't been?

I think so. I know my resistance to change can be pretty strong sometimes, but I know too that I really hate stagnating, and I really like exploring. I think that if I had to, I would move somewhere sight unseen.  I like getting to know a place, and starting to discover its ins and outs. Heck, I've lived in IL forever and I'm still discovering things, even just in Chicago.

Then with my mom moving to Minnesota, I got another chance to get a taste of it, and while I know that change makes me unhappy initially, I came away from my second trip to Minnesota to see her with a newfound sense of certainty that I could carve out a life just about anywhere. It's not my goal to move north to colder weather or even stay in the Midwest, but a few trips out and a little bit of research, and I'm finding that MN has some great museums, great outdoor spaces, and its own little trendy area to explore.

It's like I said the other day about exploring alone.  I like it, and I feel like I could use the lone traveller gene to work my way into a place and love it.

It makes me feel good about my future, because I feel like, to borrow from my favorite song, I can fly away from here and start again if I need to. I don't know why, but that gives me confidence.

Fact Sheet

*I'm a little nutty* (Free factoid!)

I'm still on track, you guys. On track for the writing challenge and here comes a list I have no idea how to populate or finish. This pains me. 10 Interesting Things About Me. Right? Ok, I can come up with 10 things, but interesting? Wellllllll. I think I might be lactose intolerant now. See how "interesting" doesn't work that well? I'll try harder though.

10.  I've only lived in two states, but I've lived in about around 10 to 12 different houses. Maybe 13 now? 

Nothing sinister there, just a single mom trying to keep improving our life. I actually don't hate it. I've had lots of different rooms to make my own, lots of different neighborhoods and yards to explore, and as I got older, new towns to get to know.  It helps me with the whole "home is where your rump rests" concept, so I can make myself feel at home wherever I land.

9. I've had tons of different types of pets- started with gerbils and cats, then when my mom remarried, we had lizards, pheasants, chukar, quails and ducks, dogs, lovebirds, parrots...and I'm grateful. I love getting to know animals, and I don't know what life would be like without furry friends around. Lucky for me, there's plenty of those here. 

8. I like travelling on my own. A lot. - I love travelling in general, and I love sharing adventures with friends, family and especially my love, but I'm also totally ok and even cheerful about exploring on my own. I love a good day trip, and I can be a tourist just about anywhere. When I'm alone, I worry less about looking touristy or dallying too long to get a picture or read a book.

7. I'm in love with the desert.  Probably something most of you know already. But when I hit New Mexico, after a few months, it was home. It felt like where I always should have been. I have dreams about the mountains I lived in, both north and south. I can't get away from the flavor and smells. I have this stupid desire for the intensity of the desert sun all.the.time.  I need it. It feels necessary. I hope one day I can have it again, because it will always be a part of me now, of that I'm sure.

6. I love storms. I love studying them. I was TERRIFIED all the time of every thunderstorm when I was a kid, but it turned into a fascination, and a bit of an obsession. Later this month, I plan on taking a class to turn it useful, and become an official storm spotter for my county. I'm *really* excited about that.  

5. I am full of artistic ambition. If I had more time, I think I'd take all the art classes. I learned a bit about acrylic painting from my mom this year and now I really want to get paints and go for it. I want to try all the Pinterest things. I want to draw better. I do calligraphy and lettering.  Sometimes I wish I had unlimited funds for art supplies and more time to get involved in projects.

4. I'm bad in person. I'm not a good communicator, not really. I've written emails after fights to explain what I was trying to say countless times. I can fake it sometimes, but in reality, I came to writing because expressing myself vocally is both intimidating and immensely hard for me. Words don't tend to come out right, or they vanish in thin air before I get to arrange them right.  

3. I feel a little lost these days, even though I feel like I'm in the right place.  It's weird. I have a relationship more stable and loving than any I've had before, but I'm a little floaty.  I have the start of a career but I haven't been able to weave it into something more solid yet. I don't want to go back but I've been not great at going forward. I need to do different/more.

2. I'm a freelance writer/photographer. I think this might not be interesting, but it's important for me to say here. Sometimes I think i don't do more because I still feel like a fraud here. But I really am a writer, by trade. I really am a photographer too. I've literally sold my work. 

1. I love my job. Having said that, if I could make this full time, and even now when it's not, I really, really love this job. It has its moments, like anything else, but going to these events, seeing the art, exhibits, nerdy things....then sharing it at Chicagoist? It's pretty amazing. I want to do more. Believe it or not, this is a means to that end.  

Speaking of ends, there's one. This list is over! Ha!