I confess something here: I have no idea what this will be. For one, our AC is broken and it's been in the 90s all day. For two, I'm pretty sure I have come down with a holiday weekend flu or cold that's making me pretty miserable. For three, last night was ...a thing I'm not talking about right now.
The first thing that occurred to me to type out was that I'm trying to figure out what parts of me are parts that really exist and what are parts that others assigned to me or I assigned to myself that aren't real. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but whatever. My space my rules.
Space seems like the best option for me right now. I'm feeling more like crawling in a shell than I have in a while. To think, to re-evaluate, to straighten out my priorities and try to do something more, something better.
One thing you'll learn the older you get is that your perception of yourself can be and is often wrong. Not that it's a good idea to let other people tell you who and what you are, but sometimes, they show you. It's not always pretty.
I need to "apply myself" more and one way to start doing that is here. Because applying myself doesn't just mean make more of an effort in my relationships and my job, it means everywhere, including with me.
I'm vaguebooking without the Facebook, but...again, that's how I want to do it right now.
And that's all for now. I've realized I don't have much else to say. Watch this space? Maybe more will come out of me, and that'll be a good thing.
