In honor of honesty

Truth is right now, I'm conflicted.  The things I see around me make me want to make things ok with certain people because it's so easy to see how quickly the time you thought you had becomes the time you wish you had.

So I want to fix things with certain people. I want to get closer, get rid of the walls.

But the truth is, too... maybe you just find family where you can, and love.  Because you can't ever fix things in any kind of relationship by yourself.  It won't work no matter how hard you beat your head against the wall or how much you bleed.  In the end, you're one half of an equation.  The point of a relationship is in realizing you need other people, because you can't do everything on your own, and you won't always be strong, and you aren't good at everything, and most importantly, you need love too, in all its forms.  No man is an island and all that jazz.

I guess tonight I wonder...
I know people out there love me.  I know that I feel as though I have relationships that stand the test of time, that have survived the fire and come out better for it.   I know that there's friendships rekindled that come from years back and somehow the closeness remains.  I'm lucky to have love in all those forms.  So maybe, even when it is family, there's just a time to go "ok. I give up."

My heart feels like that's something that should never be, but I don't know what else to do.