Happy As...

This here is Poohkay.

I met Poohkay on the ranch my mom worked at in Durango when we were there. He's a happy lil' guy. And ok, probably kind of tired.

And that...was essentially me all week. Completely exhausted but loving every minute in the sun.
But as we all know, it's not all sunshine and roses forever.
And today, though the first sunny beautiful day in IL in a while, was not my day for sunshine.
It was a day of goodbyes and wonderings and instant missing of someone. And a good dose of tears.

I guess I keep thinking about life and trying to figure out where it's trying to take me. There's so many doors that are out there right now for me, and it's only recently that they've opened up, but they all mean very different things and honestly, I'm not entirely sure any of them are the right thing, even though...all three different ones on my mind right now would to some extent fulfill a part of me that I haven't been able to get to in a long time.

I guess I keep thinking it's too soon or too early on or that nothing is remotely for sure enough to make a move, but I don't want to sit here and let all that pass, either.
Something to think about.

For now, I'm just trying to remember how good it felt to be as happy as this guy.